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AHA Moments Part2 Reflections of My Life

Back in 1996 when I first moved to Florida, at some point in my journey a light bulb went off, it was an ‘aha’ moment. I was walking the beach, reflecting on everything that transpired in my life and I was questioning why my family wasn’t reaching out to me. I realized I was living my life for the approval from my family who were not reaching out to me or even talking to me. I considered and entertained the thought … Was it just because I moved? Looking at my past I realized that they were not reaching out to me when I was living in Wisconsin, and I was geographically closer to them. They truly weren’t doing anything out of their normal, but I was expecting love and validation, and clearly wanted people to come and connect with me.

Taking it a step further, I realized I never felt the type of love I wanted to receive from my parents. I am sure that they loved me in their own way. Nevertheless, probably until I was 47 years old I never realized that they were only capable of loving me in the way they knew how.

So, when I recognized people’s limitations, what their actions were, and if I had a different expectation then what they were delivering that was my fault. I was reacting with disappointment, depression, anger because loving connections were not made … I wasn’t feeling loved. I was expecting something from them then what they were able to do for themselves or anybody else.

Don't Take Anything Personally

I began to recognize the whole pattern,
‘Don’t Take It Personally’, one of the ‘Four Agreements’ authored by Don Miguel Ruiz. Sitting back and observing the circumstances, even though I was affected by this, I learned that it wasn’t me and accepted their behaviors, and what they were capable of and willing to do.

When we can get to that place and look objectively at every single situation that comes to us, and we can say … What does this mean to me? How can I use this?  … We are in a place of understanding and acceptance. Now I use that lack of recognition and validation from my parents and my family, and realize what that feels like, and understand what other people are going through.

I have learned to take all my situations since then and turn them into something positive. Paraphrasing Napoleon Hill – “There is a seed of good within every bad thing that happens to you”. I am always looking for the seed.

Without the emotional abandonment or rejection I felt from my family, I wouldn’t have been as passionate about wanting to create good relationships, to reach out and make sure that I am a better husband for my wife, and to extend myself to my community and to be able to serve. That was my ‘aha’ moment to learn how to shift those things that happened, and not dwell in the ‘poo’ and start looking for the ‘pony’ in all of it. And, have happy rides!

Do you need help to sieve through the ‘poo’ to find the seeds?
Sign up now — Receive private coaching at group coaching rates.

You may be interested in reading my other blog, ‘Road to Self-Discovery’.

Read Aha Moments That Changed My Life, Part 1.

 

AHA MOMENTS PART 1 All great changes are preceded by chaos -Deepak Chopra

Life’s daily events shift from day to day, changes evolve and challenges occur,
all serving a higher purpose.  Being open and learning the lessons in every situation
is necessary for growth, ultimately to make it better going forward.

My methodology has been to practice personal growth each and every day. We can grow immeasurably by learning from people around the world. Over the years I have learned from numerous motivational and inspirational speakers. Motivational and inspirational quotes are one of the most frequently ‘ReTweet’ tweets because so many people are looking for inspiration.

As Zig Ziglar states, “People often say that motivation doesn’t last.
Well, neither does bathing, that’s why we recommend it daily”.

The repetitive listening, drumming it in, will start to seep out of you and all of sudden you will be saying, “Where did I learn that? That’s Tony Robbins’ voice, that’s Zig Ziglar’s voice”. If you saturate yourself with the information, you will be amazed at what you will pick up and grow into.

Motivational speaker Jim Rohn notably said “Be so busy giving recognition that
you don’t need it.
” I have learned over time to replace the word, ‘recognition’ with anything else, whether it is love or respect, etc.

Be so busy giving recognition that you don’t need itOne huge lesson I learned was to put the needs of others first. When you love the other person first, recognize and validate them first, you will be absolutely amazed at how much will come back to you. For me, it was even more than what I ever expected. That is the ‘Golden Key’ to ‘Give First’, and love them the way they want to loved. Then you will wind up getting back all that you wanted and more.

As an entrepreneur, a past lesson and challenge left a strong impression. It was during a period of time when I was doing massage work for people with disabilities.
I loved the work because I was making such a striking impact, an influence on people’s lives. I was in people’s home, connecting with their families, helping people with disabilities. In addition to having a great client list that generated some revenue; more importantly, I received tremendous emotional support and gratification within that time period. In 2008, the Florida Legislators determined that massage for individuals with disabilities was not medically necessary and eliminated the program. So, 95% of my income and emotional support disappeared. I became frozen and crawled on the couch for months.

In June 2008, I met Dave Lakhani at a Bob Burg event and he mentioned that I have to get on Twitter. So, I got on Twitter and I started out selfishly sharing motivational quotes to lift myself up and to get out of the mental state I was in. In sharing those quotes, I became the 1 in 5 people Jim Rohn referred to … “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with, including yourself.”

People started resonating with me, with my messages. They began responding and engaging with me. To expand further, I was able to coach. I had been a coach since 1999, but really wasn’t fully committed to it. Losing that massage position, going through that funk, turning to Twitter really showed me that my gifts and talents laid within communicating, building relationships, motivating myself so I could motivate other people. Sometimes what appears as a monumental change or massive challenge truly is a positive shift to an awakening. It was one of the many ‘AHA’ moments in my life. That shift brought my gifts to the surface . . . what I feel my calling was, what I was meant to do here.

Inspirational messages have an optimsitic effect on life UpdatedMy goal is to give value. Every day
I get messages on how my quotes have impacted someone’s life or shifted their day. I have a social responsibility for the greater good because people resonate with these messages. At one point I got a note from a young lady who was contemplating suicide. She had a very debilitating disease due to the pain on several levels, and was contemplating ending her life. One of my affirmations that I set up in a program that auto schedules my tweets was delivered on the day she was contemplating suicide. With this program, I do not know when a specific message will be going out. It goes out randomly. That tweet showed up to her at that time she needed it the most and shifted her focus. She made a decision to work with people with the same disability, to make all of their lives better.

This is part of what I teach in my Twitter trainings: to have that influence, to put something out there for the greater good that is not all about promoting yourself, but can enhance the lives of other people.

You never know how impactful your message will be. Stories like that just humble me and make me more committed to making sure those motivational messages get out every day. It is even more important to people than for people to see my Twitter classes or coaching programs.

What was your ‘AHA’ moment today?

Read ‘Aha’  Moments That Changed My life, Part 2.

Power of #Hashtags

Tweets with hashtags

The use of #hashtags has grown and has become an incredible way to find conversations about specific topics.  Almost any term is already being tagged.

Check out your tweet stream, and I’m reasonably certain you will not find more than 5 tweets in a row that do not contain at least one hashtag. There are many different ways to use hashtags effectively to grow your audience, expand your conversations and engagement, and promote your events. 

Around Valentine’s Day in 2012 I created and registered the hashtag, #LoveFest to share a large number of quotes I had collected about love.  While preparing my tweets for Valentine’s Day ♥, I learned that I had compiled over 400 messages about love, far too many to share on only one day. In order to spread the love around as much as possible I proclaimed February 11th thru the 20th as Twitterverse #LoveFest. I asked others to join me in sharing messages of love, and create a shift in the consciousness of the world, one tweet at a time.

I received over 200 retweets on #LoveFest alone, which connected me with hundreds of new followers. They were all interested in sharing messages of love and relationships. In addition, I received several invitations to be a guest on Blog Talk Radio shows and Twitter Chats.  

Lovefest Twitter BirdFor me, it was a natural connection to use the #LoveFest tag, because it flows into my mission to help “Build Better Relationships”. 

What tags can you think of that would be a natural lead into your mission to serve? 

When used strategically, creating your own hashtag can help you create a community of people sharing an interest in what is important to you, all of which leads directly into establishing the ‘Know, Like & Trust’ Relationship that will separate you from the hordes of tweeters. 

Many people are unaware that you can check for availability, and register your hashtag on Twubs. You would be surprised at how many commonly used tags are not registered; and yet, I am not aware of what long term rights and privileges registering a tag will give us, but why not grab ownership?

Twitter Party Hashtag updatedThere will be no control to limit the use of the hashtag by others outside of your conversation. But, I have set up a search column on my hashtags and when someone uses the tag in the way I like, I have reached out to them, followed them or RTed their message. All of which attracted like-minded people to my corner of the Twitterverse. 

If I can help you build your Social Media strategy by using hashtags or in any other way, let’s get started by scheduling a 30-Minute Strategy Session Call for only $ 25, $100 Value.

I am grateful for the generous comments I have already received on how to Master The Twitterverse, and how it has helped increase your following and enhance the use in the Twitterverse.  I would be honored, if you would share your experiences and what you liked best about the eBook on my site. Please feel free to drop me an email at: gary@garyloper.com

The Keys To Building Better Love Relationships

Love is the most powerful force in the Universe. It makes us whole. When we are
in love, we feel better, more alive. Love makes us more than we thought we could be. Being in love every day is a worthwhile gift, one that everyone can experience throughout their life. To hold on to love you must build a strong foundation.

So, what are some important aspects to build a foundation in relationships?

Picture in your mind that your relationship is like a garden. You must tend to it every single day, water it, pull the weeds out, and when you do those things you will get a bountiful harvest.

“Relationships are like a garden, it must be tended to daily – watered and weeded in order to produce a bountiful garden”. ~ Gary Loper

Most people go into their marriage

Most people go into their marriage without any
thought of preparing for the relationship. Often time they
fall into the same patterns that
their parents or family had
managed theirs, and probably not with the best results.

=====================

If you want a better relationship, you have to be a ‘better you’. You only can help someone to the depth that you are willing to go. The better you are than the more you can offer the other person.

Also, relationships are for us to heal. We get attracted to the physical and emotional parts, but on a soul level we have called the other person to us. We then can heal our past ‘stuff’ and grow.

One of the best ways to Build Better Relationships and find that love every day is to put their needs first. In the book, The Go-Giver, the third law of stratospheric success is the Law of Influence: how abundantly you place the needs of others before yours. In the Go-Giver we learn from Pindar that he has a happy and thriving 50 year marriage. He was asked what the secret was. He said, “We make a point to make each other happy”. So, look for ways to make each other happy every single day. You can start asking yourself, what can I do each day to make this relationship even better?

Also, if you haven’t already done so, I highly recommend a great tool, The Five Love Languages written by Gary Chapman. It is a vital book to learn and understand love languages. To create a healthy relationship, learn to express to your partner in the way they feel understood, appreciated and loved. Your partner is your best friend. Talk their Love Language. 

Take the free Love Language test here.

Express Love

Here is an insightful example expressed by my first coach. He received a phone call from his wife to meet him at a building downtown with no explanation. He arrives downtown, meets her outside the building, they get on the elevator and get off, and he finds himself in a marriage counselor’s office. His wife still is not saying anything at the time. He gets in the therapist’s office, and the therapist says, “Why are you here?” His wife pipes up and says, “He doesn’t love me.” He looks at her in total disbelief and says, “What do you mean I do not love you. I hug you all of the time.” She responds, “But, you never say the words.” This is vital.

In Chapman’s book he identifies that there are 5 primary love languages. His five groups are: words of affirmation, quality of time, receiving gifts, acts of service and physical touch. Here is an important key: If you know how you need to feel loved, you can give your partner the key to the kingdom.

To take a deeper look at Gary’s 20 Secrets to Building Better Love Relationships, you can download his free eBook.

Some of the topics covered are: Learn to love yourself, love languages, ways to touch the heart, motivational DNA, reflective listening and much more!

Couple on beach at sunset.Before embracing a relationship, have you asked yourself what your relationship will look like, and what attributes you want to have?

Let’s take a deeper look at some vital aspects of romantic relationships.

It is important to learn from all of your accumulative experiences, and be prepared to have ‘practice’ dates and relationships.

If for no other reason, it is to show you more of what you do not want and then you can re-define what you do want. It is important to recognize and appreciate the contrast.

Change your thoughts and look for appreciation and gratitude for the experienceThere is no such verbiage as ‘waste’ in my vocabulary. If you express that you wasted 7 years in a marriage, change your thoughts and look for appreciation and gratitude for the experience. With each experience brings knowledge and growth. Remember the other person was there to help you heal. People come into our lives at the time when we need the lesson.

First create a list of attributes. List those aspects you found appealing about the other person. You will be amazed at the list, and how it will expand naturally. Even if qualities overlap, you will learn what resonates with you. My list had no physical qualities. I was not locked into hair color, eye color, etc., just being healthy, for example: being conscious about exercise, walking, and yoga. It is the Law of Attraction. So, if you get too focused, too narrow, you are telling the Universe that those are the only things you will accept. You are not allowing the Universe to bring you any variance of something that could be even better. Even the lottery, or saying you want to win a MILLION dollars …. What if the Universe wants to bring you more? You are limiting yourself.

Look at different meetup groups, bike clubs, and things of interest 2Next, look at people you want to model a relationship after. Find other people that have successful relationships. Start acting as they act. Then hang out with them. When upgrading your friends, your circle of influence, the sum total of the five people you hang around the most, you will learn that they are your strongest influence. You may have to upgrade your friends to people who are in better alignment with what and where you want to be. Look at different meetup groups, bike clubs, and things of interest. Do things that you love to do, and find people who love the same things, with a similar common interest. What is the most important thing to you? If you love to run, then join a group that runs on a regular basis. If your religion or spiritual practice is crucial to you, start practicing your faith and go to your place of faith. Start shopping for those places of interest.

Most importantly, before you start a relationship, love yourself. If you want to be loved, be more lovable. You have to become what you want. Be loving. Add value. Put the needs of others first. Also, give away first the things you need to receive.

Moving from that dating phase into the long term commitment is vital to recognize what is next.

Your relationship will grow into a different feeling of love. When you first meet there is that hypnotic feeling of lust and passion, as you feel in the first few years. It is called P.E.A. It is often called the ‘Love Drug’.

When you realize this, you begin to realize the nature of relationships. You will know that at the beginning part of the relationship you are going to have the P.E.A. hormone spike, and over time it will change. This will help you to be mindful on how to truly love one another. Knowledge is so powerful. This is where Reflective Listening is important, one of the most valuable tools to creating the best possible relationship.

5 Love LanguagesKnowing that the P.E.A. will wear off, it makes it even more important to be aware of Reflective Listening, our individual Love Languages and focusing on making the other person happy. Make the promise, that vow to make the other person happy, and speak their Love Language. Remember you cannot put your love on the shelf like some people do. They wait until after the kids grow up, or after their career. You must work at it every day!

Are you striving for the perfect relationship?

There is no such thing as perfection. We can continue to pursue excellence and improvement. Perfect is always changing. Otherwise, you are locked into that one vision instead of being open to the constant pursuit of improvement and excellence.

Going back to the P.E.A., when we are under that trance we do not see the dirty dishes, the clothes on the floor, the pee on the toilet rim, you don’t see it! You are under the influence of the P.E.A. When it wears off, it didn’t change. You just didn’t notice all those things because of the P.E.A. That is why it is essential to build a strong foundation in your relationship from the start.

Discover Your Love Language, take Gary Chapman’s free test.

Looking to have a deeper understanding of relationships, download my free eBook, 20 Secrets to Building Better Love Relationships.

 

Twitter Strategies

twitter-strategies-invest-before-you-can-start-collecting-the-dividends-updated

You have to invest before you can start collecting the dividends. You can’t go into a bank and open an account with the bare minimum, and then turn around and expect to get a loan without any collateral. I am a huge fan of Napoleon Hill’s Success Philosophy – one of which states that you must be willing to give first in order
to receive.

Fill your pages with powerful messages, especially in the beginning. If a restaurant’s parking lot is empty, no one will stop – even if the food’s incredible. Remember your tweets = the parking lot and menu.

Whats that up there?Some things to add to your menu: share interesting, touching stories, news items, ask questions, provide answers to questions, compliment individuals, leave comments on blogs, make recommendations, retweet other people’s messages, add songs, include motivational quotes. The most frequently retweeted message are quotes.

It is important to stay within your strategy. Breaking news about celebrities for your healing practice is generally a mixed message. Another mistake people make is when they are tweeting about their business, and they make comments about politics and religion. Keep your politics and religion to yourself, unless your target market shares the exact same beliefs. If not, you run a high risk of offending someone and jeopardizing future sales and connections.

What to tweet – determine your mission on why you are on Twitter, stay on course.

SOME TIPS:

  • Sharing recipes as an insurance rep sends a confusing message, and
    we all know that a confused mind will not buy.
  • Don’t sell until you have 2K followers and tweets – earn the right.
  • Keep politics, personal, and all other non-business issues off of your
    business account.
  • Be a resource for valuable information.
  • Suggest links to media.
  • Retweet quotes generously.
  • Add songs.
  • Share interesting, touching stories, news items.
  • Ask questions, provide answers to other people’s questions.
  • Compliment people.
  • Leave comments on blogs.
  • Make recommendations.
  • Find your voice.
  • People are watching you to see if they can trust you.
  • Build rapport.
  • Remember: It’s not all about you.
  • Talk to people using their name, and make it easy for people to
    find your name.
  • Recommend people for others to follow.
  • Fill your page with powerful messages.
  • Earn the right to ask them to invest.
  • Be clear about your mission and purpose on Twitter.

One of the biggest lessons I try to share with everyone is the importance of
what to tweet and what not to tweet.

These are suggestions. Pick out the ones that are in alignment with your overall Twitter mission. If you are not sure of your mission, try out a couple at a time and test them. Look to see which gets you the most favorable responses from your audience.

Need help with your Twitter Strategy? Schedule a call with Gary.

30-Minute Twitter Strategy Session … for ONLY $25, $100 VALUE ~ to help you with the one thing that you can change today to improve you or your business, to help you Master the Twitterverse!

Good customer service is the lifeblood of any business updatedGood customer service is the lifeblood of any business. You can offer promotions and slash prices to bring in as many new customers as you want, but unless you can get some of those customers to come back, your business won’t be profitable for long.

Good customer service is all about bringing customers back. It’s all about sending them away happy enough to pass positive feedback about your business along to others, who may then try the product or service you offer for themselves and in turn become repeat customers.

If you’re a good salesperson, you can sell anything to anyone once. But, it will be your approach to customer service that determines whether or not you’ll ever be able to sell that person anything else. The essence of good customer service is forming a relationship with customers – a relationship that the individual customer feels that he would like to pursue.

How do you go about forming such a relationship?

Remember the one true secret of good customer service and act accordingly:

“You will be judged by what you do, not what you say”.

Providing good customer service and building better customer relationships is a simple thing.

My 15 Tips:

  1. Listen and reflect back to the comments and questions.
  2. Be impeccable with your word.
  3. Under promise, over deliver – provide more value than you receive
    in payment.
  4. Always be connecting and networking – suggest new friends to people who can help them grow their business or solve their problems.
  5. Give compliments and referrals – even to a competitor if they can do a better job helping the customer.
  6. Ditch the Pitch – strive to connect and engage – always be Serving, NOT Selling.
  7. Nurture your connections – keep notes if necessary on what is going on in their personal life.
  8. A huge mistake made by many in Twitter is setting up your account, and start blasting your promotional messages.
  9. My strong suggestion is that you have to earn the right to ask them
    to invest in you.
  10. Do NOT sell anything until you have 2K followers and tweets.
  11. Just like NPR and PBS they offer high quality programs 24/7/365, and have earned the right to ask for donations during telethons. We don’t mind it because of the value they have already shared with us.
  12. You have to invest before you can start collecting the dividends.
  13. You can’t go into a bank and open an account with the bare minimum, and turn around and expect to get a big loan without any collateral.
  14. Give valuable content that enriches the lives of your audience and customers.
  15. Build that ‘know, like and trust relationship’ needed to help them make their decision to spend their money with you.

My BIZ BOOSTER TIP: Giving builds Better Business, both on and off line.

Tweet me @GaryLoper and let me know how this tip works for you.

Let’s Get Better Acquainted
& Explore Collaboration Possibilities 

As much as I love all social media and all the wonderful connections I have made,
I really like to get to know the people in my network on a deeper level.

Would you be open to a call/Skype, sometime soon?

Grab a spot on my calendar, or let me know the times that would fit your schedule better.

I AM ON A MISSION OF COLLABORATION.

Part of that plan is to reach as many people as possible and share the power to become Master Of Your Twitterverse.  

To help you with your success in mastering the Twitterverse, I welcome an invitation to your conference, speaking engagements, organizations, networking or meetup groups, chamber events, or your radio show.

Learn:

  • How to build your confidence and ease in the‘ Twitterverse’.
  • My many strategies and tactics to becoming effective and successful.
  • How to engage on Twitter, target your audience and attract potential customers to your offerings.
  • My specific guidelines that will dramatically drive customers to your website and shift your business to a level of success.

My presentation is developed for small businesses, speakers, coaches, healing arts practitioners, and MLMers, all of which are well aware that a large targeted and engaged audience is invaluable to the growth of their business. With many of the changes on Facebook, they have made it difficult at best to access the community you assembled unless you pay.  

Twitter has no limits and no filters, and when worked correctly can become a stream of endless prospects and raving fans.  

There are several other motivational topics I can share with your team to help them all become even better and accomplish more in their lives and business.  

Take a look at my menu of presentations.

Grab a spot on my calendar to schedule a time to chat about the possibilities and details.


 

10 Feel Good Questions

10-feel-good-questions

Business and Social Networking . . . is much, much more than simply showing up and shaking a lot of hands, gathering up business cards, collecting followers and attempting to get someone to buy your services or product.

Successful networking is about learning how to ‘work’ the art of networking, not just seeing how things will work out.

Your business success is closely related to your capability to network your business for growth.

One of our Master Keys to Networking:  All things being equal, people will do business with, and refer business to, people they know, like and trust ~ Bob Burg

These Networking Keys are simple, but not always easy to implement – practice, practice, practice.

Here are some examples of questions to ask people at networking events:



1. “How did you get your start in the widget business?”

2. “What do you enjoy most about your profession?”

3. “What separates you and your company from the competition?”

4. “What advice would you give someone just starting in the widget business?”

5. “What one thing would you do with your business if you knew you could not fail?”

6. “What significant changes have you seen take place in your profession through the years?”

7. “What do you see as the coming trends in the widget business?”

8. “Describe the strangest or funniest incident you’ve experienced in your business?”

9. “What ways have you found to be the most effective for promoting your business?”

10. “What one sentence would you like people to use in describing the way you do business?”


The One “Key” Question That Will Set You Apart From Everyone Else…

“How can I know if someone I’m speaking to is a good prospect for you?”

From Endless Referrals: Network Your Everyday Contacts Into Sales (McGraw-Hill)  ©1994-2015 Bob Burg, Burg Communications, Inc.

The way of the world is meeting people through other people.
~ Robert Kerrigan

37 keys to networking cover

’37 Keys to Better Networking Relationships: The Art of Networking’ eBook, Receive FREE, a $ 97 VALUE.  

Start using these Networking Keys right now, and see how much of a positive impact they will make in your life and business.

Networking is an essential part of building wealth. ~ Armstrong Williams

Click Here to Gain Access to the 37 Keys!