Throughout our lives people come and go. Sometimes it makes a major impact.
It always touches our lives in some way even when the ‘lesson’ may not be revealed
to us until well afterwards.
Traveling along my path I gained many experiences and lessons. I learned to be aware of the wonder of each of those encounters, and have accepted that people
or events arrive to us for a reason, season or lifetime.
For the most part I can fully accept that when a relationship ends, it is for the best. Each soul, or at least one soul in the sacred contract, will attain the lesson it needed to learn. Even those who appear to be major dream stealers or energy zappers have been a player in our play. They are there to show us our choices and lessons so we
can move closer to our dreams and potential. Personally I know they have served me,
as I discovered my own desires, especially when I am told what I cannot do.
I remember all my teachers saying: “delete the dream stealers”, “surround yourself with positive and successful people”, “let go of the past”, “go with the flow”,
“work with those who are looking for what you have to offer”.
Why is it nearly impossible to disconnect from those who have disconnected
There is still the child within all of us that needs to be loved by our families.
Even after knowing and accepting who they are and have been, other people’s approval does not seem to fill that void. The approval of our colleagues, friends
and customers is not enough. We still deeply long for approval from where it
never came from before.
Personally I struggle with that aspect a lot. Being estranged from all of my family
for years, I still feel devastated on birthdays and holidays, especially when previous repeated rejections prevent any positive movement and healing. I experienced both physical and emotional separation.
Earlier in my life it was only emotional. I struggled to decide which felt worse:
1) having them so close and not receiving what was needed, or 2) moving myself
away in self-protection. Their behavior is the same as it was before and continues
to be. It is my self-worth that leads me to no longer accept the lack of emotional availability. I needed to remove myself in order not to expect something to happen that has never happened before, and that is still not being heard.
I have seen where some people will not acknowledge the existence of those who
have hurt them. But, I wonder if that ever works? It would seem that you would
be constantly carrying that casket, and the continual pain would always be present. There may never be a time when I will be able to separate myself completely from them even though it appears they have.
I am hopeful to learn from your experience in what you have done to come to a better acceptance of family estrangement, so that you develop workarounds to heal yourself. If you would like to share your story, please email me at: firstname.lastname@example.org.
You may be interested in listening to:
How Can We Be Lovable and Must We Learn Languages of Love
Join Linzi Levinson, host of Illuminating Now! Linzi’s Life Secrets, in an interview with Gary on ‘How Can We Be Lovable and Must We Learn Languages of Love’.
TOPICS OF DISCUSSION:
- Communication, conflict, anger and apologies.
- How can we sustain relationships?
- Is there a formula?
- We will learn more about how to sustain a relationship or
know if it is time to exit.