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Couple on beach at sunset.Before embracing a relationship, have you asked yourself what your relationship will look like, and what attributes you want to have?

Let’s take a deeper look at some vital aspects of romantic relationships.

It is important to learn from all of your accumulative experiences, and be prepared to have ‘practice’ dates and relationships.

If for no other reason, it is to show you more of what you do not want and then you can re-define what you do want. It is important to recognize and appreciate the contrast.

Change your thoughts and look for appreciation and gratitude for the experienceThere is no such verbiage as ‘waste’ in my vocabulary. If you express that you wasted 7 years in a marriage, change your thoughts and look for appreciation and gratitude for the experience. With each experience brings knowledge and growth. Remember the other person was there to help you heal. People come into our lives at the time when we need the lesson.

First create a list of attributes. List those aspects you found appealing about the other person. You will be amazed at the list, and how it will expand naturally. Even if qualities overlap, you will learn what resonates with you. My list had no physical qualities. I was not locked into hair color, eye color, etc., just being healthy, for example: being conscious about exercise, walking, and yoga. It is the Law of Attraction. So, if you get too focused, too narrow, you are telling the Universe that those are the only things you will accept. You are not allowing the Universe to bring you any variance of something that could be even better. Even the lottery, or saying you want to win a MILLION dollars …. What if the Universe wants to bring you more? You are limiting yourself.

Look at different meetup groups, bike clubs, and things of interest 2Next, look at people you want to model a relationship after. Find other people that have successful relationships. Start acting as they act. Then hang out with them. When upgrading your friends, your circle of influence, the sum total of the five people you hang around the most, you will learn that they are your strongest influence. You may have to upgrade your friends to people who are in better alignment with what and where you want to be. Look at different meetup groups, bike clubs, and things of interest. Do things that you love to do, and find people who love the same things, with a similar common interest. What is the most important thing to you? If you love to run, then join a group that runs on a regular basis. If your religion or spiritual practice is crucial to you, start practicing your faith and go to your place of faith. Start shopping for those places of interest.

Most importantly, before you start a relationship, love yourself. If you want to be loved, be more lovable. You have to become what you want. Be loving. Add value. Put the needs of others first. Also, give away first the things you need to receive.

Moving from that dating phase into the long term commitment is vital to recognize what is next.

Your relationship will grow into a different feeling of love. When you first meet there is that hypnotic feeling of lust and passion, as you feel in the first few years. It is called P.E.A. It is often called the ‘Love Drug’.

When you realize this, you begin to realize the nature of relationships. You will know that at the beginning part of the relationship you are going to have the P.E.A. hormone spike, and over time it will change. This will help you to be mindful on how to truly love one another. Knowledge is so powerful. This is where Reflective Listening is important, one of the most valuable tools to creating the best possible relationship.

5 Love LanguagesKnowing that the P.E.A. will wear off, it makes it even more important to be aware of Reflective Listening, our individual Love Languages and focusing on making the other person happy. Make the promise, that vow to make the other person happy, and speak their Love Language. Remember you cannot put your love on the shelf like some people do. They wait until after the kids grow up, or after their career. You must work at it every day!

Are you striving for the perfect relationship?

There is no such thing as perfection. We can continue to pursue excellence and improvement. Perfect is always changing. Otherwise, you are locked into that one vision instead of being open to the constant pursuit of improvement and excellence.

Going back to the P.E.A., when we are under that trance we do not see the dirty dishes, the clothes on the floor, the pee on the toilet rim, you don’t see it! You are under the influence of the P.E.A. When it wears off, it didn’t change. You just didn’t notice all those things because of the P.E.A. That is why it is essential to build a strong foundation in your relationship from the start.

Discover Your Love Language, take Gary Chapman’s free test.

Looking to have a deeper understanding of relationships, download my free eBook, 20 Secrets to Building Better Love Relationships.


Twitter Strategies


You have to invest before you can start collecting the dividends. You can’t go into a bank and open an account with the bare minimum, and then turn around and expect to get a loan without any collateral. I am a huge fan of Napoleon Hill’s Success Philosophy – one of which states that you must be willing to give first in order
to receive.

Fill your pages with powerful messages, especially in the beginning. If a restaurant’s parking lot is empty, no one will stop – even if the food’s incredible. Remember your tweets = the parking lot and menu.

Whats that up there?Some things to add to your menu: share interesting, touching stories, news items, ask questions, provide answers to questions, compliment individuals, leave comments on blogs, make recommendations, retweet other people’s messages, add songs, include motivational quotes. The most frequently retweeted message are quotes.

It is important to stay within your strategy. Breaking news about celebrities for your healing practice is generally a mixed message. Another mistake people make is when they are tweeting about their business, and they make comments about politics and religion. Keep your politics and religion to yourself, unless your target market shares the exact same beliefs. If not, you run a high risk of offending someone and jeopardizing future sales and connections.

What to tweet – determine your mission on why you are on Twitter, stay on course.


  • Sharing recipes as an insurance rep sends a confusing message, and
    we all know that a confused mind will not buy.
  • Don’t sell until you have 2K followers and tweets – earn the right.
  • Keep politics, personal, and all other non-business issues off of your
    business account.
  • Be a resource for valuable information.
  • Suggest links to media.
  • Retweet quotes generously.
  • Add songs.
  • Share interesting, touching stories, news items.
  • Ask questions, provide answers to other people’s questions.
  • Compliment people.
  • Leave comments on blogs.
  • Make recommendations.
  • Find your voice.
  • People are watching you to see if they can trust you.
  • Build rapport.
  • Remember: It’s not all about you.
  • Talk to people using their name, and make it easy for people to
    find your name.
  • Recommend people for others to follow.
  • Fill your page with powerful messages.
  • Earn the right to ask them to invest.
  • Be clear about your mission and purpose on Twitter.

One of the biggest lessons I try to share with everyone is the importance of
what to tweet and what not to tweet.

These are suggestions. Pick out the ones that are in alignment with your overall Twitter mission. If you are not sure of your mission, try out a couple at a time and test them. Look to see which gets you the most favorable responses from your audience.

Need help with your Twitter Strategy? Schedule a call with Gary.

30-Minute Twitter Strategy Session … for ONLY $25, $100 VALUE ~ to help you with the one thing that you can change today to improve you or your business, to help you Master the Twitterverse!

Good customer service is the lifeblood of any business updatedGood customer service is the lifeblood of any business. You can offer promotions and slash prices to bring in as many new customers as you want, but unless you can get some of those customers to come back, your business won’t be profitable for long.

Good customer service is all about bringing customers back. It’s all about sending them away happy enough to pass positive feedback about your business along to others, who may then try the product or service you offer for themselves and in turn become repeat customers.

If you’re a good salesperson, you can sell anything to anyone once. But, it will be your approach to customer service that determines whether or not you’ll ever be able to sell that person anything else. The essence of good customer service is forming a relationship with customers – a relationship that the individual customer feels that he would like to pursue.

How do you go about forming such a relationship?

Remember the one true secret of good customer service and act accordingly:

“You will be judged by what you do, not what you say”.

Providing good customer service and building better customer relationships is a simple thing.

My 15 Tips:

  1. Listen and reflect back to the comments and questions.
  2. Be impeccable with your word.
  3. Under promise, over deliver – provide more value than you receive
    in payment.
  4. Always be connecting and networking – suggest new friends to people who can help them grow their business or solve their problems.
  5. Give compliments and referrals – even to a competitor if they can do a better job helping the customer.
  6. Ditch the Pitch – strive to connect and engage – always be Serving, NOT Selling.
  7. Nurture your connections – keep notes if necessary on what is going on in their personal life.
  8. A huge mistake made by many in Twitter is setting up your account, and start blasting your promotional messages.
  9. My strong suggestion is that you have to earn the right to ask them
    to invest in you.
  10. Do NOT sell anything until you have 2K followers and tweets.
  11. Just like NPR and PBS they offer high quality programs 24/7/365, and have earned the right to ask for donations during telethons. We don’t mind it because of the value they have already shared with us.
  12. You have to invest before you can start collecting the dividends.
  13. You can’t go into a bank and open an account with the bare minimum, and turn around and expect to get a big loan without any collateral.
  14. Give valuable content that enriches the lives of your audience and customers.
  15. Build that ‘know, like and trust relationship’ needed to help them make their decision to spend their money with you.

My BIZ BOOSTER TIP: Giving builds Better Business, both on and off line.

Tweet me @GaryLoper and let me know how this tip works for you.

Let’s Get Better Acquainted
& Explore Collaboration Possibilities 

As much as I love all social media and all the wonderful connections I have made,
I really like to get to know the people in my network on a deeper level.

Would you be open to a call/Skype, sometime soon?

Grab a spot on my calendar, or let me know the times that would fit your schedule better.


Part of that plan is to reach as many people as possible and share the power to become Master Of Your Twitterverse.  

To help you with your success in mastering the Twitterverse, I welcome an invitation to your conference, speaking engagements, organizations, networking or meetup groups, chamber events, or your radio show.


  • How to build your confidence and ease in the‘ Twitterverse’.
  • My many strategies and tactics to becoming effective and successful.
  • How to engage on Twitter, target your audience and attract potential customers to your offerings.
  • My specific guidelines that will dramatically drive customers to your website and shift your business to a level of success.

My presentation is developed for small businesses, speakers, coaches, healing arts practitioners, and MLMers, all of which are well aware that a large targeted and engaged audience is invaluable to the growth of their business. With many of the changes on Facebook, they have made it difficult at best to access the community you assembled unless you pay.  

Twitter has no limits and no filters, and when worked correctly can become a stream of endless prospects and raving fans.  

There are several other motivational topics I can share with your team to help them all become even better and accomplish more in their lives and business.  

Take a look at my menu of presentations.

Grab a spot on my calendar to schedule a time to chat about the possibilities and details.


10 Feel Good Questions


Business and Social Networking . . . is much, much more than simply showing up and shaking a lot of hands, gathering up business cards, collecting followers and attempting to get someone to buy your services or product.

Successful networking is about learning how to ‘work’ the art of networking, not just seeing how things will work out.

Your business success is closely related to your capability to network your business for growth.

One of our Master Keys to Networking:  All things being equal, people will do business with, and refer business to, people they know, like and trust ~ Bob Burg

These Networking Keys are simple, but not always easy to implement – practice, practice, practice.

Here are some examples of questions to ask people at networking events:

1. “How did you get your start in the widget business?”

2. “What do you enjoy most about your profession?”

3. “What separates you and your company from the competition?”

4. “What advice would you give someone just starting in the widget business?”

5. “What one thing would you do with your business if you knew you could not fail?”

6. “What significant changes have you seen take place in your profession through the years?”

7. “What do you see as the coming trends in the widget business?”

8. “Describe the strangest or funniest incident you’ve experienced in your business?”

9. “What ways have you found to be the most effective for promoting your business?”

10. “What one sentence would you like people to use in describing the way you do business?”

The One “Key” Question That Will Set You Apart From Everyone Else…

“How can I know if someone I’m speaking to is a good prospect for you?”

From Endless Referrals: Network Your Everyday Contacts Into Sales (McGraw-Hill)  ©1994-2015 Bob Burg, Burg Communications, Inc.

The way of the world is meeting people through other people.
~ Robert Kerrigan

37 keys to networking cover

’37 Keys to Better Networking Relationships: The Art of Networking’ eBook, Receive FREE, a $ 97 VALUE.  

Start using these Networking Keys right now, and see how much of a positive impact they will make in your life and business.

Networking is an essential part of building wealth. ~ Armstrong Williams

Click Here to Gain Access to the 37 Keys!


1. Use Twitter to connect with people, and make them part of
     your community.

You will be amazed at the connections you can make with people when you add to tweets and discussions, and are generous with comments and RT’s. Create a presence, carve out a niche, connect with an audience that can be your customers
or referring ambassadors, and make them a part of your community.

Focus on one account2. Do not use multiple accounts.

Start with just one account. Focus on one account; otherwise, it’s like herding cats! Your attention is diverted between two things. Get a 2nd account if you have diverse interests, and/or you are doing Twitter Parties. During Twitter parties or chats, you can easily tweet a good deal causing yourself to end up in Twitter jail, virtual time out. Suggested tweet parties is 60 tweets an hour.

3. Use keywords in your Twitter profile.

Your profile is your name tag or business card, and creates an opportunity for people to ask or comment on your profile. Your profile is indexable by the search engine,
and should contain the same key words you have chosen for your website. Remember, you only get 160 characters in your profile to share your services
or passions.

4. Use a banner photo, and photos on your Twitter account.

Twitter gives everyone a billboard where you can create your signature –
your profile, your photo and your links, as well as demonstrate how you can solve people’s problems. Connect with people with your photo. Let your smile be your logo.
You can put your logo up in your banner. Unfortunately, so many people are
missing that opportunity.

4 Es with twitter handle etc5. Your tweets should entertain, educate,         enhance and engage.

Build attraction.  Focus on relationship building and delivering real value. To tweet, your tweets should contain one or more of these four elements: Entertain, Educate, Enhance, and Engage. The majority of your tweets should not
be about you. 

6. Motivational messages are the most retweeted tweets.

What can you do for the greater good? For me, my #JustForToday quotes are little reminders to help people make a better choice. What can you work on today? What are your baby steps? By sharing motivational quotes as Zig Ziglar said … “it is a motivational bath, people need it every day”.  We don’t know how many people
are watching, or how the words we put out have an impact on people’s lives.

7. Twitter parties are virtual conversations in Twitter that are geared
     around a branded hashtag.

Hashtags are used to create a topic of discussion, an example would be #LifeSkills.
A Twitter Party is an incredible way to build rapport, build your presence, audience, and community. Importantly, become an engaging conversationalist and meet new people. You can create new relationships, make valuable connections, and form joint ventures.

8. Twitter parties can help you ‘trend’ on Twitter.

Trending topics are the most popular conversations that are happening on Twitter at that present moment. If you want to see the trending topics, they are listed on the left side of the Twitter page. Twitter parties are perfect for a grand opening, or a book / product launch.

Tweet Limit9. Twitter party: stay under 60 tweets in
     an hour.

It is very easy to get excited, get involved in great conversations, and retweet often that you unaware that you cannot tweet anymore – because you exceeded Twitter API limits, and now you are in Twitter Jail . . . Twitter’s time out.  We suggest you watch your tweets, and limit to 50 to 60 tweets per hour.

10. Share your knowledge through Twitter, content marketing in
       blog posts, videos, and photos.

At least once a week share your blog posts, videos and photos, and remember it
takes time to build rapport and trust on Twitter, so don’t try to sell anything until 2K tweets and followers.

11. Add value to the conversation.

Watch the responses of others, and make a comment to create a conversation, just as in other parties there are always side conversations going on in addition to the current topic. Enjoy, Engage and Entertain.

12. Show that you believe in what you’re doing.

People love to connect with real people. Show us your personality and your passions in your tweets and @ Replies. You will be surprised at how many people are watching your actions. Give them the best you, and they will follow.

Build Relationships First updated13. Be consistent. Create multiple tweets
       for your account.

Showing up every day is vital to create the Know, Like & Trust relationship needed to invite them
to look at your site and offers. Important to note: Tweet in moderation – especially when first starting, and leave room to allow your audience
to absorb your messages.

14. Do not retweet the exact same content           in a 12-hour period.

Keep it fresh and retweet different content. Retweeting is free content, complimentary to your brand, what you are doing. I share a lot of Tony Robbins, Richard Branson, millionaire, billionaire coaches and thought leader tweets.
It shows people who I am watching, who I am connected with.

Happy Tweeting!

book-of-miracles-exerciseMany people are not or may not be aware of their
own definition
of  Success, Love and Happiness.

This exercise will reprogram your subconscious to your new definition of these
vital aspects of your life.

  1. Begin with the word you are looking for clarity on. For example, we will use Success.
  2. Place the word “Success” in a top circle.
  3. Under the word Success create more circles. Fill those circles with synonyms from the Book of Miracles – The Thesaurus.
  4. You are not limited to just the three or four circles.
  5. Use as many synonyms that resonate with you, as what ‘Success’ means to you.
  6. Let’s use the words, ‘Prosperity, Achievement, Love, Fame and Winning’ for this example.
  7. Under each of these words search the Book of Miracles for an even deeper definition.
    • Prosperity – Wealth, Affluence, Love
    • Achievement – Attainment, Realization, Accomplishment
    • Love – Happy, Nurtured, Partner, Safety
    • Fame – Celebrity, Personality, Brilliant, Notoriety
    • Winning – Victory, Charming, Captivating, Triumphant
  8. Repeat the process by finding resonating words for each new word for each of
    the four.
  9. Keep repeating the process – finding new words – until you get to a point of overwhelm. You can repeat words.  There is no limit, but you should find at least 100 words.
  10. In your notebook, write a story that utilizes all of the words you discovered. The story does not need to make sense, and it does not have to be shared with anyone. By using all the words, you are reprogramming your subconscious mind with ‘YOUR’ new definition of what Success means to you.

This exercise can be used with any word you are unsure of your definition, for example: love, happiness.

Here’s to your SUCCESS!




Happy Holidays!

Happy Holiday


Thank you for supporting us in making this world a better place to live in, we appreciate you!



Whatever holiday you honor, celebrate it in recognition of love!


Listen to these beautiful pieces . . .

“The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart.” ~ Helen Keller

From Our Home to Yours,
Happy Holidays! Love ~ Gary & Caryl


With every person, there is a chaotic part of situations occurring within their life. If everything was normal, sort of nirvana, than there would not be an opportunity to grow. To embrace what we truly need, we need to have those contrasts in our lives.

Change the Story

In my situation there were missing components within my personal relationship with my parents. They were not able to reaffirm and give me what I needed. The missing aspects created low self-esteem. This all arose from emotional unavailability throughout my life,
a lack of connection and in-depth relationships. My desire was to be respected and loved in the way that I wanted to be respected and loved. The gremlins, the voices within my head, were constantly telling me to do things that would seek approval from people. I never got celebrated. I never heard, “We are proud of you”. So, in my mind, I heard that nothing was ever good enough.
I developed a fear of never being respected or honored. Consequentially, I was always looking for the safe way to do things to be loved. With everything I tried, I didn’t get the recognition. I sensed it as part of a failure. At the time, I did not realize that they were unable to do it. I needed to re-write that story. If you really look at failure, it is just a result. I discovered and recognized what their abilities and limitations were, and how their depression and regrets, and emotional unavailability created ‘my stuff’, the influences and forces in my life. I employed an exercise to look at the major events in my life as a ‘mile marker’, looking for commonalities. The ‘Mile Marker Exercise’ allowed me to go back to every aspect of my life with my parents, including my conception, transporting me back to the beginning to realize and understand how much was missing in my life.

For many years I wasn’t even aware of its impact and weight because that was all that I knew. I started unknowingly looking for other role models for relationships and family structure, observing their level of communication and cooperation between themselves, extended to their children and their children to each other. That concept was totally foreign to me because my family never had that foundation. Desperately wanting to be loved, I married the first woman I had a relationship with, all based on my hope and dreams of creating the kind of relationship and family that I longed for in my life. Things were safe and sound until financial crisis when I lost my job and our home. I had low self-esteem, in dire need of a strong emotional connection. And, unfortunately she was not capable of providing emotional support, so after nine years I got angry, and the marriage ended. 

Reflection, deliberate contemplation, and profound observation and examination 2

The next nine years was spent in reflection, deliberate contemplation, and profound observation and examination. After a back injury working at a machine shop, I made the decision to go to school, so I could use my natural gifts, assets and strengths instead of my back. Upon completion of school I focused on the marketing field. At that point in time, I worked with Rima. Rima helped run a small marketing company. She was incredible. Why? I believe this to be so, because she took notice of her employees’ gifts and talents, and she fed their need to share them. Over the years, I saw her turn many lives around — including my own — by listening, nurturing, guiding, allowing us to learn from our own mistakes and validating us. Through her example, folks like me now have the great opportunity to Pay It Forward.

About the same time I was introduced to personal development and public speaking. Armed with positive energy and a new job opportunity, I ventured into marriage again, not realizing that my rescue mode kicked in. Hopeful for a different type of marriage, recognizing that I had advanced and grown significantly, I was ready for a relationship. Yet, I was unaware of the clues and was blindsided by P.E.A. [chemical created within the brain and released when you are in love]. I did not see the obvious signs that should have been a stop sign in the relationship, which ended up being mine fields at the end of a year and half marriage.

Shortly after my second divorce ascended my awakening. At that time, several occurrences facilitated change: my x-wife did not look for opportunities to build a relationship with my children, there were problems at work and my grandmother died of cancer, all accumulative within a couple of months. In quest to seek answers to my questions, I took a cruise. The cruise was a vortex that opened a door to in-depth personal and business development. 

One day I was walking the beach, reflecting on everything that transpired in my life

That cruise facilitated a huge change, I moved to Florida. One day I was walking the beach, reflecting on everything that transpired in my life and I was wondering why my family wasn’t reaching out to me. I realized I was living my life for the approval of my family who were not reaching out to me or even talking to me. I considered and entertained the thought … Was it just because I moved? Looking at my past I realized that they were not reaching out to me when I was living in Wisconsin, and I was even geographically closer to them. They truly weren’t doing anything out of their normal, but I was expecting love and validation, and clearly wanted people to come and connect with me.

Taking it a step further, I realized I never felt the type of love I wanted to receive from my parents. I am sure that they loved me in their own way. Nevertheless, it wasn’t until I was 47 years old that I grasped that they were only capable of loving me in the way they knew how. So, when I was able to recognize what people’s limitations were, what they had already done, and if I had a different expectation than what they were delivering that was my fault. I was reacting with disappointment, depression, anger because loving connections were not made … I wasn’t feeling loved; but, I was expecting something from them than what they were able to do for themselves or anybody else.

Dont Take It Personally

I began to recognize the whole pattern, ‘Don’t Take It Personally’, one of the ‘Four Agreements’ authored by Don Miguel Ruiz. Sitting back and observing the circumstances, even though I was affected by this, I was able to learn that it wasn’t me and accept their behaviors. I observed what they are capable of and willing to be able to do.

When we are able to get to that place and look objectively at every single situation that comes to us, and be able say … What does this mean to me? How can I use this?  … We are in a place of understanding and acceptance. Now I use that lack of recognition and validation from my parents and my family to be able to realize what that feels like, and understand what other people are going through.

Living at the beach I spent eight years of reflections and projections, which bought another component in my life: studying healing and massage. I established myself within the healing practitioners’ community from which I fostered deeper personal growth, all leading to a richness in spiritual development.

Then in 2004 I met Caryl, a connection that exposed a deep transparency with great potential. Although we came from different backgrounds, we had similarities that went well beneath the surface, our personal and spiritual development. Essentially, we needed to foster and develop a strong foundation based on understanding, sensitivity, empathy and compassion. Relationships are like a garden, they must be tended to daily – watered, weeded, etc. in order to produce a bountiful harvest.

In relationships we all have baggage, and need to create a safe place to help the other person unpack their hurts and pains. Like most couples, there have been times that we have bumped into mine fields, obstacles and hurdles, and lost direction. Some important principles that we embrace to foster a strong relationship: Be non-reactive, never take it personally, reflect the other person’s feelings, apologize with a firm response of how we will change, take responsibility for our contributions to the problem. Importantly, treat your partner every day as you did in the beginning, and there will not be an ending. A loving relationship is the most important investment you will make in your lifetime. In a relationship our responsibility is to bring the best out in each other, to support each other’s gifts and strengths.

Paraphrasing Napoleon Hill – “There is a seed of good within every bad thing that happens to you” 2.

In closing, I have learned to take all my situations since my childhood and turn them into something positive. Paraphrasing Napoleon Hill – “There is a seed of good within every bad thing that happens to you”. I am always looking for the seed.

Without the emotional abandonment or rejection, I wouldn’t have been as passionate about building better relationships, and extending myself to my community to serve. I learned how to shift those things that happened, and not dwell in the ‘poo’ and start looking for the ‘pony’ in all of it . . . and, create happy rides. 

Finally, they were all there to help me grow and build a large Social Media audience. I feel obligated to share those stories as Hope, to help someone who may have gone through a similar situation, to impact people’s lives and businesses. It continues to give me inspiration, a sense of responsibility to be available for people. You never know who you can touch by sharing your message. Never underestimate the Power of a Tweet, or even in real life, the power of a single word or statement. Messages can show up at the right time, make a change in someone’s day! I believe in the Butterfly Effect, and how messages can help people in abusive relationships, dangerous situations and even prevent suicide. In turn those people have gone on to impact other people’s lives!

You may be interested in reading a guest blog, ‘Poop and Inspiration… What…? How Can Poop Relate to Inspiration?’