How to Spot a Faker
By: Loral Langemeier
In business and in life, we have all had the unpleasant experience of running into a “faker.” It seems the more successful you are and the more wealth you create for yourself, the more fakers come out of the woodworks. These fakers aren’t always easy to spot. In fact, some of them are downright charming, charismatic and lovable. You’ve heard the phrase, “love is blind.” Well, so are most relationships in the honeymoon phase. Knowing how to spot these knights in corroded armor can save you a lot of pain, in the wallet and in the heart.
Portrait of a Faker
Not “The Duck”: While someone with true confidence and certainty is calm, a person who is putting up a façade is more at ease. If you have ever heard the expression “be the duck,” that is someone with confidence. They are calm on the exterior but, under the water, they are paddling like crazy to get where they need to go. The faker isn’t the duck. The faker is a buoy, just bobbing around at ease until they can leave and proceed to miss deadlines or break promises.
A Worry Wart: People with confidence and certainty are open-minded. They listen to all sides, actively look for solutions and don’t freak out about the little things. Fakers, on the other hand are anxious about everything: what people think of them, how the deal is progressing or how its not. They are your classic worry-warts of the world who worry incessantly, but don’t work toward solutions.
Quid Pro Quo: Genuinely kind people have the confidence and certainty to give freely without having to point and say “I did that.” Arrogance can display itself in many ways, but a lot of truth comes out when kindness is called upon. The arrogant person believes that the world revolves around them and any kindness MUST be appreciated ten-fold. In the world of fakers, kindness is not natural. It’s a means to an end.
No Accountability: Have you ever encountered a person who blames everyone but themselves? Nothing is their fault and if they are called on the carpet, they ignore, deflect and blame until they have successfully assigned the blame to someone else. This is a classic faker move. While someone with confidence and certainty takes responsibility for their own actions and doesn’t let a mistake paralyze their productivity, a faker will remain frozen solid until someone (other than them) is blamed for the mishap.
Refuses to Compromise: Fakers usually don’t work very well in groups. That’s probably because they detest compromise. “My way or the highway” is the mentality most fakers have and they employ that mentality with ferocity. Those with confidence and certainty will seek out creative solutions to disagreements. Even if they don’t agree with the consensus, they will come up with a creative compromise which is satisfactory to all. Forget trying to compromise with a faker. You will hit a brick wall every time.
Control Freak: Fakers are classic micro-managers. They want to control every aspect of a situation, or person, to assure it’s the way they want it, regardless of how it affects the organization or the people within it. They make no room for the expansive nature of business or life, or the ever-changing ebb and flow of ideas and events that make things interesting. People with confidence and certainty are fine with others taking the lead. In essence, fakers are poor followers AND leaders.
Unsure about Everything: Ask someone who is putting up a façade to make a decision and you may be waiting awhile. Where confident people, who are certain of themselves and their ability to make sound judgments, fakers are often wishy-washy. They change their minds often and display great difficulty sticking to plans. Not only is this work style frustrating, it’s a clear mark that someone is unsure about what they are doing.
Just Plain Mean: When in doubt, fakers lash out. All of this anxiety, arrogance and insecurity manifests itself as anger. This results in cutting and cruel comments and other unprofessional and uncivil behaviors. Confidence and certainty result in absolute emotions. There is no ticking time bomb. With a faker, it’s only a matter of time before they “go off.”
Fakers aren’t bad people. They are just carrying around and covering up a core of “empty.” When you surround yourself with these people, it may feel like the floor is about to drop out from under you at any moment. We are all susceptible to poor decision making which can affect our businesses, personal lives and relationships. Putting a system of values in place for yourself and building a team of solid people around you is a vital step in preserving your Yes! Energy. This gives you the infinite ability to move forward in a positive way every day.
About Loral Langemeier
Loral Langemeier is one of todays most visible and innovative money experts. She continues to expand her horizons, even through the challenging obstacles of today's economy. Because of her tenacity and absolute confidence in what she teaches, Loral is one of only a handful of women in the world today who can claim the title of "expert" when it comes to financial matters and the making of millionaires. She accelerates the conversation about money, sharing how to not just survive this tough economic climate, but how to succeed and thrive.
Langemeier is a renowned international speaker and the best-selling author of The Millionaire Maker series of books and Put More Cash in Your Pocket. In February 2012, she will release "Yes! Energy: The Equation to Do Less, Make More." This book will shed additional light on the Confidence and Certainty (2C) portion of the Yes! Energy equation and how you can utilize it to achieve financial success.
