Love is the most powerful force in the Universe. It makes us whole. When we are in love, we feel better, more alive. Love makes us more than we thought we could be. Being in love every day is a worthwhile gift, one that everyone can experience throughout their life. To hold on to love you must build a strong foundation.
So, what are some important aspects to build a foundation in relationships?
Picture in your mind that your relationship is like a garden. You must tend to it every single day, water it, pull the weeds out, and when you do those things you will get a bountiful harvest.
“Relationships are like a garden, it must be tended to daily – watered and weeded in order to produce a bountiful garden”.
~ Gary Loper
Most people go into their marriage without any thought of preparing for the relationship. Often time they fall into the same patterns that their parents or family had managed theirs, and probably not with the best results.
If you want a better relationship, you have to be a ‘better you’. You only can help someone to the depth that you are willing to go. The better you are then the more you can offer the other person.
Also, relationships are for us to heal. We get attracted to the physical and emotional parts, but on a soul level we have called the other person to us. We then can heal our past ‘stuff’ and grow.
One of the best ways to Build Better Relationships and find that love every day is to put their needs first. In the book, The Go-Giver, the third law of stratospheric success is the Law of Influence: how abundantly you place the needs of others before yours. In the Go-Giver we learn from Pindar that he has a happy and thriving 50 year marriage. He was asked what the secret was. He said, “we make a point to make each other happy”. So, look for ways to make each other happy every single day. You can start asking yourself, what can I do each day to make this relationship even better?
Also, I highly recommend a great tool, The Five Love Languages written by Gary Chapman. It is a vital book to learn and understand. To create a healthy relationship, learn to express to your partner in the way they feel understood, appreciated and loved. Your partner is your best friend. Talk their Love Language.
Here is an insightful example expressed by my first coach. He received a phone call from his wife to meet him at a building downtown with no explanation. He arrives downtown, meets her outside the building, they get on the elevator and get off, and he finds himself in a marriage counsellor’s office. His wife still is not saying anything at the time. He gets in the therapist’s office, and the therapist says, “Why are you here?” His wife pipes up and says, “He doesn’t love me.” He looks at her in total disbelief and says, “What do you mean I do not love you. I hug you all of the time.” She responds, “But, you never say the words.” This is vital. In Chapman’s book he identifies that there are 5 primary love languages. His five groups are: words of affirmation, quality of time, receiving gifts, acts of service and physical touch. Here is an important key: If you know how you need to feel loved, you can give your partner the key to the kingdom.
To take the test and learn about your love Language, and take a deeper look at Gary’s 20 Secrets to Building Better Love Relationships, you can download his free eBook.
Some of the topics covered are: Learn to love yourself, love languages, ways to touch the heart, motivational DNA, reflective listening and much more!